Fuck me. So the guy I live opposite is from UCLA and looks exactly like you imagine a person from California to look like. Don't know if he surfs, but he looks just like a surfer bum. However he's pretty smart and studies Chinese, so is very useful to go places with! More importantly he introduced me to some of the girls who are here from UCLA. The three of them are all of Asian descent and are all gorgeous. One of them, Winnie actually has an arse which could easily be used for bikini modelling. How do I know? Because we all went on a trip to some hot springs. So amazing hot springs and three real fitties in bikinis. Gosh what a day! It's a hard life.
In other new, constrained Monte-Carlo sucks. It better start working soon or I'm screwed!
Sunday 25 October 2009
Saturday 17 October 2009
Good Morning Saigon...(Taipei)
Fuck you Marcus, I'm clearly not dead, just living my jet set lifestyle. Dick head.
Physics can take you to all corners of the world. Some you never knew were there until you found out you were going. I'm now a very very long flight away, 13 hours to Singapore, 4.5 immediately to Taipei just catching my transfer thanks to an electric buggy, somewhere where no one can mistake me for Marcus.
Today I have found out that it is not true that lots of people in Taipei speak English, nor can I magically read Mandarin. Bollocks. I was being shown around by some students today, however surviving on my own may prove more interesting. The public transport is very easy to use, although boarding any road vehicle appears to be much like boarding a runaway train. All of the food I have so far sampled appears to have the consistency of slime. The main ingredient of my duck hotpot stew appeared to be baby eels. So much for avoiding sea food as advised by the NHS. Even drinks are like slime, having oversized straws to allow the slimy bits of jelly to fill your mouth. Interesting... I muse that this must be what it's like for a bitch swallowing my cum. Not something I ever particularly wished to experience. All of it tastes fine, just the sensation is a bit off putting.
Tomorrow I shall search for somewhere to keep my physique. If my comparison of Mandarin symbols with a map is correct, there may be an outdoor bouldering wall opposite my accommodation. Time to return some video tapes.
- Patrick
Physics can take you to all corners of the world. Some you never knew were there until you found out you were going. I'm now a very very long flight away, 13 hours to Singapore, 4.5 immediately to Taipei just catching my transfer thanks to an electric buggy, somewhere where no one can mistake me for Marcus.
Today I have found out that it is not true that lots of people in Taipei speak English, nor can I magically read Mandarin. Bollocks. I was being shown around by some students today, however surviving on my own may prove more interesting. The public transport is very easy to use, although boarding any road vehicle appears to be much like boarding a runaway train. All of the food I have so far sampled appears to have the consistency of slime. The main ingredient of my duck hotpot stew appeared to be baby eels. So much for avoiding sea food as advised by the NHS. Even drinks are like slime, having oversized straws to allow the slimy bits of jelly to fill your mouth. Interesting... I muse that this must be what it's like for a bitch swallowing my cum. Not something I ever particularly wished to experience. All of it tastes fine, just the sensation is a bit off putting.
Tomorrow I shall search for somewhere to keep my physique. If my comparison of Mandarin symbols with a map is correct, there may be an outdoor bouldering wall opposite my accommodation. Time to return some video tapes.
- Patrick
Saturday 10 October 2009
Theory in life
I've just moved in with this dick head Marcus. People keep getting us confused.
So the apartment is nice. Not that nice, but nicer than anyone else's who knows me. It helps when you are surrounded by morons to have a nice place to relax in. It is also important to show the women we deem to fuck how much better we are doing in life than them too. Knowing your place is one of the most important things in life. I'm reminded of a boy who this week asked if I "need any help" as I walk back to the office on a coffee grounds run. I have a bag of coffee in my hand, do I look like a fucking visitor, do I look like I need the help of a CV building tosser. I laughed in his face and continued to laugh as I walked on, not saying a word.
The work is progressing. Two meals out on expenses this week and I have just been informed I shall be paid 40000 TWD a month to work in Taipei. Not a bad reimbursement for my expertise.
I'm sure you are dying to hear more about my life which is obviously far more interesting than your own. However I must entertain women later and must put in the necessary time to maintain my appearance.
- Patrick
So the apartment is nice. Not that nice, but nicer than anyone else's who knows me. It helps when you are surrounded by morons to have a nice place to relax in. It is also important to show the women we deem to fuck how much better we are doing in life than them too. Knowing your place is one of the most important things in life. I'm reminded of a boy who this week asked if I "need any help" as I walk back to the office on a coffee grounds run. I have a bag of coffee in my hand, do I look like a fucking visitor, do I look like I need the help of a CV building tosser. I laughed in his face and continued to laugh as I walked on, not saying a word.
The work is progressing. Two meals out on expenses this week and I have just been informed I shall be paid 40000 TWD a month to work in Taipei. Not a bad reimbursement for my expertise.
I'm sure you are dying to hear more about my life which is obviously far more interesting than your own. However I must entertain women later and must put in the necessary time to maintain my appearance.
- Patrick
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