Saturday 17 October 2009

Good Morning Saigon...(Taipei)

Fuck you Marcus, I'm clearly not dead, just living my jet set lifestyle. Dick head.

Physics can take you to all corners of the world. Some you never knew were there until you found out you were going. I'm now a very very long flight away, 13 hours to Singapore, 4.5 immediately to Taipei just catching my transfer thanks to an electric buggy, somewhere where no one can mistake me for Marcus.

Today I have found out that it is not true that lots of people in Taipei speak English, nor can I magically read Mandarin. Bollocks. I was being shown around by some students today, however surviving on my own may prove more interesting. The public transport is very easy to use, although boarding any road vehicle appears to be much like boarding a runaway train. All of the food I have so far sampled appears to have the consistency of slime. The main ingredient of my duck hotpot stew appeared to be baby eels. So much for avoiding sea food as advised by the NHS. Even drinks are like slime, having oversized straws to allow the slimy bits of jelly to fill your mouth. Interesting... I muse that this must be what it's like for a bitch swallowing my cum. Not something I ever particularly wished to experience. All of it tastes fine, just the sensation is a bit off putting.

Tomorrow I shall search for somewhere to keep my physique. If my comparison of Mandarin symbols with a map is correct, there may be an outdoor bouldering wall opposite my accommodation. Time to return some video tapes.

- Patrick

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